How to differentiate kids' bullying vs teasing? How to help kids identify and handle it?

There seems to be a lot of national focus on the issue of bullying and now teachers and parents are unclear as to what kinds of behaviours targeted at their children are worthy or reporting or simply childish teasing. Parents want to do everything they can to protect their children but they also do not want to be guilty of crying wolf.

The same goes for children – most likely don’t understand the distinction between bullying and teasing and may not make issue of the former or may overreact to the latter. It’s important for both parents and children to understand the difference.

First of all, let’s outline that distinction for us, the parents.

Bullying

• personal (religion, race, appearance, preferences or other important characteristics)
• intention to do harm
• unwanted teasing
• victim perceives that harm is being done

Teasing

• sense of play
• mutual
• does not create the feeling of being harmed

You can see where there is a fine line between the two but ultimately teasing turns into bullying when the victim declares the behaviour unwanted and it continues and the victim feels hurt by the actions.

Children often have a hard time telling the difference between the two, both when it is happening to them and when they see it happening to others. They may be hesitant to report what it occurring due to this confusion or the fear of being wrong or blamed by other children.

Help your children understand the difference by teaching them to be aware of how they can hurt others and how to recognize when others are being hurts. This involves aiding your child in developing a sense of empathy which you can do by teaching them to be mindful of the facial expressions of other children and how to recognize emotional hurt.